This was the year you surrendered. It was hard for you to let go of the reins, at first, to unburdened yourself from the unknown. You embraced discovery, and were surprised by the beautiful and unexpected things that happened when you stopped dipping your toe in and started swimming with the current.
This was the year you stopped hiding and started seeking. You shared more of yourself this year than perhaps ever before, and it was so freeing (surrendering is an act of bravery).
This was the year you began to feel comfortable in your own skin. You cared less about what people thought and trusted your decisions (and indecisions) more. Being you is much easier than trying to be the person people want you to be. And easier still than the person you think people want you to be. Because inside, looking out, is the only point of view you really need to know and the only one you can ever truly understand.
You thought less and did more. You connected, and reconnected, and disconnected – to people and to places and to opportunities. You learned over and over that action can provide incredible clarity, and planning can be, and often is, overrated.
You took things slow, and you rushed when you needed to.
At the end of your 34th year, you are calm and underwhelmed. You are trying to find the overlap and also realizing there is no overlap: it’s you, real and whole and unapologetically so.
Thirty-four is a shift in priorities: a closet full of high heels you have no desire to wear.
You’re a long way from 14, and in some instances, an even longer way from 24.
You’re surprised to find 34 is not unlike 17 (still your favourite age): on the cusp of something new and extraordinary, but content to rest where you are for a little while longer.
Breathe it in, and let it go, and take what comes.