surrendering to 2013

I spent the past week reading resolutions. I’ve always been a planner, I’ve always had an idea, a vision, a project to work toward, and as much as I believe in sending one’s hopes and dreams and goals out into the ether to make them happen, this year I’m coming up short.

I don’t know what 2013 holds for me, or even what I want it to hold (at least not with any fervor, anyway).

And I’m slightly panicked, but, for the most part, okay with that. Because I don’t want to fake it with a superficial list of I wills and I musts.

So without a focus, I’m choosing one little word as a focus: surrender. It sounds weak doesn’t it? A lot like laziness, and giving up. But I think there’s power in letting go of the reins for a while. To trust your gut and quit trying to control the unknown.

I’m surrendering, to life, I suppose. Surrendering to change and to growth. Surrendering to chaos and calm, and the space in between. Surrendering to uncertainty and to the new. To possibility and promise.

Here. I. Go.